I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
