I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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