chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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