He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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