Michael Bay diarrhea
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
