Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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