I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize