Can Purell be used as lube?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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