Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
