Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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