things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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