well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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