I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
it's like iHOP with fire
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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