Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
