making cat noises will not fix the situation.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
