Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
