he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
