So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
