I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
