And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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