the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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