Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize