new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize