Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i came on her dog
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
