In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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