Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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