I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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