bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize