the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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