you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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