i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
