So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
