I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
