i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
