I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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