There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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