I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
