I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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