Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's just like the Real World with babies
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
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Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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