I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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