If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
