he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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