I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
