My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
