i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
