We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You pole danced in your parka.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
