i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
not ubering you a puppy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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