I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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