i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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