i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
