you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
