ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
