READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I showed him my bush... on skype.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
