You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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