Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
