HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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