good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
