somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
