lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
