69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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