garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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