I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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